Are you dating a Boy or a Man?

The difference between dating a Boy vs a Man

"The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators -- or their current replacements -- finally change their minds, apologise, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children." - (Ken Page, LSCW, 2011)

A woman is attracted to men. A girl is attracted to boys. This has nothing to do with age of the person, but more so maturity, stage of life and life vision. The truth is, some people regardless of their age, will never grow up.

Expect to only attract boys, if you are a girl who; lacks independence, ruled by insecurities, lacks self respect, does not have strong values or boundaries and throws tantrums. 

On the other hand, if you are a woman: independent, ambitious, obtains a strong moral compass, an able communicator and realise their worth and value. Then this woman deserves to be with a man, if you can not see the difference between a man and a boy, read on. 

• A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which club or bar he's going to hit up on the weekend.  A man plans his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family "eventually". 

• A man knows what he wants and goes for it. A boy may have some sort of an idea, but not really. He doesn't think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn't exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.

• A boy mostly cares for girls who are hot, exciting and wild. A man looks for a women with intelligence, who is supportive. 

• A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always "testing the water" - he doesn't really want to commit because he's not sure if he is really ready. But the overall fact is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he is with, he will never be ready due to where he is in his life at that moment.

• A boy avoids, ignores confrontation or any serious talk about feelings. Rather than dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he's not that into you or the relationship. 

•  A man takes time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he want to lead and the vision for his life. He has put a lot of thought into his values. A boy on the other hand has not established his morals or values, which makes him inconsistent. 

• A boy may make an attempt to get to know you, but generally gives up before ever really trying. A man knows when he meets a good woman and will take the initiative to get to know her. 

• A man means what he says, and says what he means. He has integrity. He follows through with his actions, if he can't he will tell you why. A boy will make promises and won't follow through.

• Both men and boys are afraid of rejection. Boys afraid of rejection will act passive so his ego won't ever take a knocked. A man will put himself out there regardless. 

• Finally, boys play games. A man doesn't. This refers to "Mind Games". 

You may also realise after reading this article, you can switch the genders and it can stil apply to the females.